My friends Chloë and Jen got married this weekend in the most personal ceremony I have ever witnessed. The whole weekend, in fact, carried wonderful personal touches starting with a lobster bake — the one tradition shared between their diverse families.
Prior to attending this event, I might have described myself as someone who knows how to eat a lobster. I’ve cracked my share of claws and tails. I know to suck and bite the smaller legs to drag out hidden bits of meat and flavor.
I was wrong. I now know I have been wasting lobster bits my whole life. Chloë has set me straight. I wish I had taken video, because I believe this woman to be the least wasteful consumer of lobster in the world and when her YouTube how-to video blows up, I wouldn’t mind cashing in on the web traffic.
Not only does Chloë eat that weird green stuff inside the lobster, she collects the discarded carcasses of friends’ meals and scrapes up their green stuff, too. But it doesn’t end there. She then rips off the little pieces at the end of the tail and uses them as small scoops to collect the swampy water that pools on the plate when you bust open a boiled crustacean. And, if that’s not enough murky green water for her, she picks up the plate and slurps down the rest. Pictured here, the lovely bride demonstrates her technique as her approving mother urges her on.
I never realized how wasteful I have been in eating just the meat. Think of all the seafood diverted from landfills by this woman alone!
I kid, but Chloë and Jen are amazing and thoughtful women who care deeply about their friends and family and are conscientious about the environment as well.The Chuppah they stood under to exchange vows yesterday will get a second life as a trellis in Jen’s dad’s garden. I’m looking forward to anniversary photos to see what beautiful things have grown around it.
Congratulations, Chloë and Jen! I hope you’re truly offline and enjoying your honeymoon!